Porn on My Dining Table!

     Well, MIL is still here. Two weeks turned into four (with two weeks in the hospital) and now we're in the middle of our sixth week. About halfway through week five she decided it was time to go home, of course during my busiest weekend of the year, so I just said no! you're staying another week. Shot myself in the leg with that one, but I figured I could put up with another few days for a free babysitter.

     So after a few discussions with Sweet Papa as to who gets to drive her home and who has to stay at home with the kiddos without a car in sub zero temperature, 40 minutes walking from the nearest subway station (unless you need to stop and pee 3 times), we decided I'd drive her home with the kids since it was their vacation and we had nothing better to do anyway. Of course nothing turns out as planned in my household. We got a call from the clinic, Oma needs to go back into the hospital for another procedure.

     That solves that problem of who has to do the 3-hour drive, listening to complaints about the rest of the family. But that also means Oma is here for EVEN longer. I really don't mind her, really. She's actually helpful around the house, and I'm sure Sweet Papa is happy that someone in the house is listening to his work problems and putting up with all his crap. But she's got all these weird, non-Grandma like habits.

     Every morning, she needs to read her newspaper. It's not really a newspaper, in that I don't think that there is any actual news in there, unless it's completely sensationalized. It's like the German version of the National Enquirer with out the alien stories. And it's pornographic! On the front page of every weekday issue there is a picture of some topless woman posing in some kind of erotic pose along with some interesting tidbits about this woman's life. Her age, her hopes and dreams, and her profession (usually something like cashier, secretary, student, or mom (eeewwww!)). I grew up in a household where it wasn't clear if you were to actually bathed naked or not.

     She doesn't seem to even notice the porn though. There was an article on the page right above it that she was trying to point out to me and I couldn't help but instinctively shield my eyes from it! She's always leaving the paper on my dining table, always opened up to the nudity. It apparently never occurs to her that we have a prepubescent child in the house, and well besides that, who wants a picture of a stranger's bare ass on their dining table???!!!!!

     But wait, it gets worse. She even watches porn on tv! Well, soft porn. Well, R-rated soap opera style shows in the living room with my then 3 and 5 year olds watching! I supposed Europe is supposed to be a little more progressive than the US in certain things, but watching porn with Grandma is not my idea of a wholesome family activity!